“Lord Whhhhhhhy are my braids so tight”
…I woke up around 3 or 4 something this morning with this thought. I just got my hair braided last night, and started waking up complaining. Then I thought, maybe there is a reason for me to be up besides my over sensitive scalp being stretched in every direction.
*Eyebrows on fleek, Edges laid!* *Home girl in the background yes YAAAAS YOU BET-TA. SHE FINNA, SHE FINNA!*
*Gets back to serious accordance*
This reminded me of my last year’s trip, when I was awaken by the mosque’s call to prayer at like 5am and I was like “Lord what is he even saying, hitting not one note or pitch this early in the morning.” Then God said pray. So I began pray, “just words escaping his mouth, and the sound waves fill this area Lord flood Your Holy Spirit in this place! Let ever ear hear sound of sweet Word and let not the praises of men or the things of this world be pleasing anymore! During this time of Ramadan, of their praying & fasting, let this be an undeniable encounter with you Jesus! Please let there be visions of Your ways and revelations of who You are! Holy Spirit fall down like fire and consume and baptize this land, and everyone who posses it.”….etc And every time I was awaken by the mosque (or the dumb little birds who would fly into my window scaring me half the death) I would do so.
Then I decided to listen to Pastor Brian’s message of “Leading like Jesus” for the Umpteenth time… This is another timely message and I invite you all to listen or download by clicking HERE.
While I was listening to it I couldn’t help but think of my little baby!
As of lately there has been a lil trouble being stirred up (by little I mean a lot). The program that I was in last year (and she is still under) doesn’t like the new program I am in now, and is really upset with me spending time with people in their program including her. So I can see that they are really going to try to cut off all of our contact..its already been really difficult sneaking around, I haven’t seen her in well over a week. They found out through a Video that I posted (I think it was the one where we went to Go-Karting :P ). So from now on I have to be reeeeeeally discrete and I’m thinking about putting a password on my blog for access (which will be simple and free to give out, just message me if I do!).
So I began to really worry about what the future would look like. Like how am I going to spend time with her? Our time is already limited, they have a lot of power, what if they manipulate it and do something crazy..like take away all their support? What does this mean? Why are they even tripping…they know my heart, and at the end of the day aren’t we supposed to be serving the same God!
Then I started thinking about the whhhyyys. Not the cool curious ones, but the condescending ones. Like the questions people would would ask. Like why was I so invested in her and her mom. How and why did I started this relationship. lol and the only response as a cop-out I could say was “The Holy Spirit”, because thats the only thing that makes sense. Even while I’m here, same questions just different accents. Sometimes I get stares and hard looks when we are out. I wonder if people know about her past lifestyle of prostitution, or if it because of the difference of our socioeconomic status. Or they think that I should just give up on her. Like for what? Let us live! lol Just one of the annoying prices.
Dont get me wrong, Emabet can be very stubborn and Bereket is a cry baby and acts up when she is sleepy. So its not all rainbows and butterflies
I can’t answer WHY God put this in my heart, but I cannot deny that He did. And what little information I have, with little room I have to move, day by day God opens my heart and reveals Himself through our bonding time. One thing I am being taught is unconditional love (which is a never ending subject). Some of those close to me know, that on my birthday I found out that Emabet was kicked out of her rental place because of lack of payment by the org and went back into prostitution. I tried not to, but I cried. Not because of “the sin” necessarily, but what this really meant. 1) an organization whom I greatly sowed into was manipulating funds without concern for them (and probably others in the program). 2) that after being in the program for this long her heart truly has not changed. She is still the same. That this $$ support is greatly needed and beautiful, when its there, but that cannot be the final step. She needs counseling, and most important a fresh baptism of the Holy Spirit. Not the old anointing from her childhood. I am looking for a Christian counselor that is from Hadiya, and speaks the language because Emabet’s Amharic is horrible. So if anyone knows any please contact me. But I love them and I love to give to these two who can never “repay” me in the world’s sense. Honestly, truth is I get so much reward in those smiles, and uncontainable laughter. And all things come together for His goodness…right? Not for the sake of gaining “cool points” in heaven another or rubies in my crown or so…or even for my "christian social circle". But for the sake of love in His name sake!
Well… by the time I finished these thoughts and hearing pastor Brian say “I’m almost finished” another time HA. There it was. Islamic/Arabic reading of the Qu’ran filling the the city… and I began again to pray for our community “…just words escaping his mouth, and the sound waves fill this area Lord flood Your Holy Spirit in this place! Let ever ear hear sound of sweet Word and let not the praises of men or the things of this world be pleasing anymore!….
Welp I dont know how this is all going to play out. Especially with the org not to happy with me right now. Ha maybe we will reach some type of agreement, maybe God will move on their hearts, or maybe it will be difficult. God only knows. But what I do know, the last time wasn’t the last time I am going to see them. Because God isn’t finished with the work He is doing in them, and in the work He is completing in me. And I don’t serve a God of incomplete. Amen.
Here are some more photos of my lil baby. :D
^ YUP THAT MY BEST FRIEND, THAT MY BEST FRIEND! SHE FINNA!
I was carefree and thought,
“I’ll never be shaken!”
You, Lord, were my friend,
and you made me strong
as a mighty mountain.
But when you hid your face,
I was crushed.
I prayed to you, Lord,
and in my prayer I said,
“What good will it do you
if I am in the grave?
Once I have turned to dust,
how can I praise you
or tell how loyal you are?
Have pity, Lord! Help!”
You have turned my sorrow
into joyful dancing.
No longer am I sad
and wearing sackcloth.
I thank you from my heart,
and I will never stop
singing your praises,
my Lord and my God.- Psalm 30
Hey beauties, its Camille(: 25, The Ohio State Alumna.
I LOVE coffee, and chocolate (esp when they are together). I you liked to know more about me simply click here.